For You
by ravensuchiha
Summary: AU-ish Kakashi and how he saw Sakura through her training and growing up and why he saved her and how he came to love her and... then there is Sakura and her feelings for that damned Uchiha brat and gosh, what he would do for her!
1. Prologue

**So...this is the first time ever I wrote fanfic. SO please be kind. I proof read it but there may be several mistakes since english is not my native lnguage.**

 **I recommend listening to 'Angel With A Shotgun' from the Cab before you start reading since the song is the sole reason for this story.**

 **Then enjoy and please leave some review and critique if you want:)**

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„ _They say before you start a war_

 _You better know what you're fighting for._

 _If love is what you need_

 _A soldier I will be."_

 _\- The Cab, Angel with a Shotgun_

There she was, layingng unconscious at his feet. Gently he cupped her face and softly stroked her wet cheek. His heart broke at the tragic sight.

Back when she was a little Genin he had saved her the first time when his other two students went at each other with the intent to kill. He didn't mean to intervene so he could teach them a lesson. Tsunade would have been able to reduce the damage and heal them up. But suddenly she had started moving and time itself stood still. He saw how Sasuke and Narutos eyes widened in shock and he knew they wouldn't have been able to stop. So he had acted on instinct and jumped in between at the last second. He threw the two boys each into a water tank, then he turned to his pink haired, crying student and assured her that everything would be fine.

Later he would tell himself that he had reassured her because she reminded him of Rin. Of course she reminded him of Rin in some ways but that was not why he had given her his famous eye crinkle. No, he just couldn't stand to see her cry.

And then Sasuke had left town and he had watched how Sakura broke for the first time. The second time was when Naruto had left her too.

He knew he wasn't the best Sensei to her. She had reminded him too much of Rin and how he had not only failed her but Obito too. He was not proud of himself but he couldn't handle being near her too much, so he had concentrated on Sasuke and Naruto instead. Of course that was no excuse. He had seen how her self esteem sunk lower and lower with each mission. At the same time he saw the strength of her heart and how willing she was to go to her limits for the ones she cared for.

When she asked Tsunade to take her in he had been worried but he also believed in her and her strength, so he stepped back and let her grow without him holding her back. There were times when he wanted to approach her. Sometimes he would see her in training ground three all beaten up and bloody and crying. But he knew she had to do this on her own even if he wanted nothing more than to protect her. So he watched from a distance how she broke every day a little more and how she put the pieces together at the end of every day. Without him noticing he began to adore her and once he noticed he was utterly disgusted with himself.

And then, after three long years she had blossomed in a beautiful strong girl. She was stronger than Naruto or Sasuke could ever be, he was sure of it. She had endured heartbreak for three long years and turned out emotionally stronger and also a littler harder if not even colder. And then Naruto returned and he saw how life crept back in in her beautiful jade green eyes.

The first time he saw her true strength was when Naruto and Sakura had to take the bell test again. It would be an understatement to say that he was surprised. But what surprised him even more was her coldness towards him on their first mission together after all this time. Every time she looked at him he could see all the hurt and betrayal she felt. That was when he knew that he made a mistake in leaving her alone. She had obviously needed him, he realized a little too late. It hurt him that she behaved so cold towards him but he understood. He had given her the feeling that she wasn't good enough for two years and then went to seemingly ignore her for three years more.

He tried not to let that rattle him too much and ignored the building pull he felt towards her. Untill she went after them and told Naruto that she loved him. It had made him unreasonably angry seeing her kissing Naruto. After all she had always loved Sasuke and now to turn so suddenly to Naruto was just weird. At least that was what he told himself. And then they had stumbled upon her comrades who should have been with her and when he realized what she had been planning, dread had flooded him before he sprinted off without looking back.

All he could think about was losing Sakura. In his mind he was taken back to when Rin had ran towards him until his fist had protruded from her body but instead of it being his fist it was Sasukes' through Sakuras body. He cursed and pushed himself to run even faster. And then he saw them, saw how Sakura stood behind Sasuke and shivered. He was shocked that first: she had been able to sneak up on the Uchiha and second: that she really was going to kill him. Then he noticed her hesitance, cursed silently and moved even before Sasuke moved a muscle.

He had been so angry that his own student tried to kill his comrade with a jutsu he had taught him. They fought for a while but when he was exhausted because of his Mangekyou and he saw Sakura attempting to kill him again he could do nothing than watch as he tried to reach her in time. He felt utterly panicked and not just because she was his student but because he couldn't stand the thought to lose her and never being able to see her again. And when Naruto saved her he felt relieved and so damn grateful. At the same time he felt unspeakably shocked as he realized the nature of his feelings. He could not believe that he was slowly falling for her, he was fourteen years her senior, damnit!

But he had no time so sort out his feelings or approach Sakura and ask her about hers. Because the war started and he had to think about all the lives he was responsible for. Then suddenly everything went wrong and Obito was back, everyone was lost in this Genjutsu, Sasuke was back and fought with them.

He had never been more proud of them when they fought once more together and he saw how far they had come in all this time. But after they had defeated Kaguya Sasuke and Naruto hadn't had enough and wanted to end it for once and for all. Of course Sakura couldn't let them so Sasuke took her out.

He stared down at her face and cringed at the pain he could see even though she was unconscious. That was when he knew he was a goner. Anger filled him and he lifted his eyes to Sasukes dead ones. In this moment he decided he would do anything to win Sakuras heart and make her the happiest she could be.

„ _They say before you start a war_

 _You better know what you're fighting for._

 _If love is what you need_

 _A soldier I will be."_

 _\- The Cab, Angel with a Shotgun_

 **So I went and edited this one. I read over it again and damn there were still a few mistakes, whoopsie:D**


	2. Chapter 1

**So... I have to admit I never thought that people would notice this work so fast! And originally this was ment to be a oneshot but I made the mistake to not label it as complete. And after I read the reviwe of CantFigureOutAUsername94 I felt abd because I didn't want to disappoint you. So I thought 'maybe I can maje this an actualy story'. And then when I lay in bed tonight I had the idead for this chapter and thought 'why not'. So let me know what you think about it:)**

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 **Chapter 1**

The moment he averted his eyes he felt Sasuke and Naruto vanish in thin air and cursed silently. He didn't think long and scooped Sakura up into his arms and then went to follow the Chakra signature left from his two stupid former students. Their Chakra was enormous and deadly and he knew that if he didn't bring Sakura to them one, or worse, both of them would die.

And then he saw them; he couldn't do anything than stare at them and be transported back in time. Naruto was creating a beautifully deadly Rasengan while the loud chirping of the equally beautiful Chidori enveloped Saskues hand. _No, not again, damnit!_ But before he could make a move, Sakura shot forward her hand enveloped in blue Chakra as she slammed her palm against his chest. Instantly her Chakra flooded his system and paralyzed his body.

"I'm sorry Kakashi-sensei, but I can't have you sacrificing your life and losing you in the end" she whispered as her seal activated and dark marks spread over her body.

His eyes widened as he fell limply to the hard ground while he could do nothing more than watch in unimaginable horror as Sakura once again ran towards her two comrades.

But this time no Kakashi would be there to stop the boys from crushing her; no Kakashi would be there to stop the uninvitable to happen.

She was fast, really fast! And before either of the two boys knew it, Sakura stood between them, with her back to Naruto her arms stretched out to her sides as if she wanted to protect him, _him_!

Narutos eyes widened as his eyes locked on Sakuras back and cold dread filled him. Then his eyes slid to Sasukes and he could see the same horror reflected there.

Sakura shot a look back over her shoulder and as she realized that Naruto would be too close to evade all the damage, she made a decision and with a smile on her face she lunged forwards.

Kakshi watched in ultimate horror as Sakura jumped into Sasukes attack, he watched as Saskues Chidori burned straight through her heart until his hand protruded her body on her back. He watched as Naruto let out an animalistic scream while Sasuke stared unbelievably at his arm, that was buried to its elbow in her body.

"Sa-kura..? Why?" Sasukes broken voice was carried over the dirty ground to Kakashis ears and he snarled angrily.

Finally he gained the control back over his body and as soon as he felt his legs he scrambled over to them.

Sasuke sunk to the floor with Sakura held softly in his arms. Naruto held onto her shoulders while his tears streaked down his dirty cheeks.

"I-I couldn't" she coughed roughly and blood splattered Sasukes face. "Le-let you k-k-kill….Naruto."

When Kakashi arrived he could see how her dark marks were receding and concentrating on the wound in her chest. Without thinking he grabbed the Uchihas arm and ripped it out of her body.

Blood, there was so much blood. It was flowing freely down her ripped clothes and Sasukes now red arm.

"Naruto! Go and get Tsunade! NOW!" he screamed at the crying boy. Naruto nodded shakily, jumped up and was gone. But he couldn't care less as he cradled Sakuras face in his hands wiping away her tears.

She smiled up at him as her breath grew more raspier. He watched as the remnants of her heart were slowly being mended but her lungs were still in shreds. She was healing herself too slowly, at this rate she would die even before her heart would be healed fully.

She seemed to know this as her eyes slid over to Sasuke who seemed to be in shock. Weakly she lifted her hand towards him. He snapped out of his stupor and grabbed her hand as if it was his lifeline.

Kakashi watched brokenly as the most beautiful smile spread over her pale face, as blood tripled slowly down her chin.

"Sakura! I-" the Uchiha brat sobbed.

Sakura shook lightly her head and with the last of her strength pulled him down to her.

Kakashi didn't know what face Sasuke was making but he heard her weakly-whispered words.

"For you..."

Then he felt her body going limp in his arms and the first sob was cracking his stoical facade. Without further thought he lunged at the Uchiha, his hands slowly clamping around his throat. But Sasuke didn't even attempted to fight against him. His eyes met his and just stared at him in utter despair but he didn't care. He had failed Sakura, if he just had done this sooner!

"Kakashi!"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Damnit, Hatake!"

Suddenly he was ripped away from his prey and was eye to eye with Genma, while Naruto rushed to Sasukes side and Tsuande to Sakuras.

She clenched her jaw as she realized that Sakura hadn't been breathing. Immediately she went to healing her.

 _Stupid, stupid child!_ She thought full of pain.

"Instead of attempting to kill the damned Uchiha brat you should have been giving her mouth to mouth!" She snapped irritably as she pumped Chakra into the limp girls head and examining the damage there while simultaneously healing her lungs.

Naruto held Sasuke firmly in his arms as the Uchiha stared at Sakuras limp form.

Kakashi had just promised himself to make her happy and now he couldn't even see her smile anymore. And all because of that damn Uchiha brat. He couldn't fathom how he ever felt like the boy was like him.

Right as he was about to lunge at the damned boy again he heard the most beautiful sound in his whole life.

Sakuars desperate gasp for air.

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 **So there is the unexpected first chapter. I don't know when will be the next time when I have the time and inspiration for the next chapter. I don't write them and then hord them until I can upload them. If I have an idea I will write it down, proofread and upload. So it can take a while. But there will come a next one, promise. I came to like the idea of this fic. So till next time:)**


	3. Chapter 2

**Wow. It's been a really long time now. I had just no idea how to continue ugh. But your reviews kept me going so I just told myself to get this done. So thank you all for your support and love. This chapter is a little longer so enjoy and more rambling at the end;)**

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Chapter 2:

The war had ended. They had won. But they didn't exactly feel like celebrating, there was just too much loss to be truly happy. And when all the shinobi had seen Sakura soaked in blood and unconscious in Hatakes arms they felt like screaming. She had been healing and saving them through all this damned war, how could she be hurt this badly. Then their eyes would take in Hatakes look and his murderous aura. Of course they knew how strong the bonds ran in team seven but somehow this seemed much too intimate. And then they saw Sasuke. His gaze far away and his right arm drenched in blood and suddenly everyone got it. As soon as Naruto noticed the tension in the air and saw how they all seemed about to murder his best friend he jumped in front of him and began explaining.

Sure, most of them were glad that he didn't try to kill Sakura on purpose but all of Konoha who knew Sakura and her story with the Uchiha just glared at him.

* * *

It was a really tough week, but finally they all were home.

 _Home_.

It felt weird to finally be able to calm down after so much fighting. The Shinobi were slowly settling down and trying to adapt to life once again. While others who had died in battle were buried and mourned over.

It was a very tiring week with all the accommodations but finally Konoha was nearly as good as new or rather as back when there hadn't been war. The peace treaty with the other five nations was still in place so all that was left was fighting against the rogue nins.

But Kakashi didn't give a damn about all that crap. He had been sitting in the hospital room for this whole week and had waited for Sakura to wake up. At the same time he was being watched over by Genma who was to intervene if Kakashi was to attack a certain Uchiha again.

Honestly? He couldn't care less about the damned Uchiha brat right now. All he wanted was for Sakura to wake up. She had been in a coma since the first time she had woken up after Tsunades healing. Since then all her friends and other gracious shinobi had come to look after her. Even the Uchiha had come at one point and Tsunade had to throw Kakashi out of her room. Naruto had been anxiously watching his former sensei and best friend, unsure of what to do.

"He didn't want to kill her, Kakashi-sensei, dattebayo!" He defended that stupid Uchiha kid. But Kakashi had just given his famous eye crinkle and right before he could lunge for the Uchiha again Genma had grabbed him and violently wrestled him out of the room.

Right now he was sitting at her bedside again and holding her rather cold hand. He glanced at her sleeping face and felt his heart clench painfully. She was so beautiful even when unconscious and rather skinny. He knew that she would be grumpy about all the weight loss but at least she was alive, right?

"Sakura..." he sighed again and pressed his forehead against her limp hand.

"I should have protected you. Back when you were a Genin and I was still your Sensei, I should have been there for you and protecting you…"

A soft throat clearing broke him out of his thoughts and he glanced at the person standing on the other side of Sakuras bed. His eyes narrowed and his body tensed.

"Kakashi" Sasuke began while watching Sakura with unreadable eyes. "I know why you hate me. But that doesn't matter. I don't need your forgiveness nor your consent. I will be here for her and her only."

With that he sat down and took Sakuras other hand and stared at the older man coldly.

Kakashi was speechless. He wasn't aware that his feelings could be read that easily. But he wouldn't give the Uchiha the pleasure in proving his assumptions right, because that was all they truly were. Assumptions.

And then he felt his hand being squeezed.

* * *

Her head hurt and her throat felt like she had swallowed dust. A faint beeping noise told her everything she needed to know. She was in the hospital. That in itself was quite surprising, she had been sure that she would die. After all that healing she had to do plus the fighting she hadn't had enough chakra to heal the damage to her heart _and_ her lungs. It was a small miracle to be alive.

And then she felt two different hands in her own and frowned. One she knew belonged to Kakashi, she could tell because of his fingerless gloves. But whose was the other one?

Well there would be no knowing without opening her eyes, she thought.

As soon as the light hit her eyes she groaned and heard two chairs tumble to the floor.

 _Way to go and scaring your comrades, Sakura,_ she thought grumpily.

When her eyes didn't feel like being burned out of her head she blinked a few times and stared uncomprehendingly at the person holding her right hand.

"Wha-?" she croaked out and immediately flinched and ended up coughing baldy until a cup of water was placed in her left hand and when she looked up she saw Kakashi standing there and watching her with a warm eye.

She closed her eyes and soaked in the feeling of the cold liquid flowing down her parched throat. Then she opened them again and smiled gratefully at Kakshi and then she focused her eyes on Sasuke and the fact that he was still holding her hand.

She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off as he lunged forward and very uncharacteristically wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"I am _so_ sorry, Sakura. I never meant to kill you. I never could" he finished quietly.

Sakura was shocked. Never in a million years would she have thought Sasuke of all people to talk about emotions or apologize. But at the same time she was so glad to have her Sasuke-kun back and tears gathered in her eyes.

"Sasuke...it's alright. I forgive you you stupid man! After all how could I not forgive the one I love, ne?" she asked and grinned brightly at him. Sasuke pulled back and stared at her with pure adoration in his eyes.

Then the door slammed shut and Sakura jolted. When she turned she saw that Kakashi had left the room.

 _Kakashi…?_ , she thought a little sad that he had left that abruptly. But then Sasuke sat down on her bed and grabbed her hand once again.

"I want to make it up to you for all the times I hurt you" he told her. His thumb drew circles on the back on her hand which was rather distracting. Then he leaned forward and pressed his lips softly against hers and all thought process ceased.

 _Sasuke-freaking-Uchiha is kissing me,_ me _!_ Then the door burst open and Tsunade, followed by all her friends stumbled into the room. Sasuke had pulled back the second the door handle had been pushed down and sent her a conspiratorial smirk.

"Everyone out! I have to examine her before you brats can smother her with your stupidity!" Tsunade bellowed and shoved them all out the door. Then she turned to her apprentice and before she knew what hit her she was locked in one of her shishous rare hugs.

"I really thought I had lost you, you stupid girl!" Her shishou whispered roughly and both of them began to cry sliently.

* * *

After she was finally released she went straight to her apartment in the desperate need of a shower and fresh clothes. With a final shut she closed the doors behind her and stood in the dark hallway of her apartment.

Her thoughts were a mess. She raked her hand frustrated through her hair and trudged towards her bathroom. Slowly she let her dirty clothes fall to the floor. Somehow none of her so-called friends had thought about getting her fresh clothes to change into if she was to wake up. Instead she had to wear the clothes from the battle with the huge whole on her front. Gratefully Ino had lent her her green vest.

She stepped in the shower and let the cold water splash on her tired body. Shivering and clenching her teeth she stood under the cold water and waited until the water turned finally warm. But the shaking didn't stop. And then she broke down.

She could have died. And she should have. She had done it to save two of her most precious people and she would do it again. And now Sasuke was back in Konoha and apparently he wanted to be with her and Naruto had his best friend back. But still she felt as if she had lost a huge part of herself. She felt hollow and cold inside. Shouldn't she be happy that everything was over and the man she loved was finally returning her feelings?

But she wasn't happy, was she… She still saw all the blood and broken people in front of her eyes. She knew that she was traumatized, damnit she _knew_! But what did that do her? Nothing! Except that she knew that she had a lot of work to do and – sigh – that she was tired. She was so damn tired.

Was it weird that a small part wished she had actually died? Of course she knew that she had chosen that path and that being a medic meant seeing blood and death and loss. But she had seen _So. Much._ She was sure that none of her peers had seen quite as much pain and deformed people as she had. During a fight you were concentrated on yourself, on getting out of it alive. Your mind didn't really register when you killed a person and when they fell to the ground you just went on to the next before your mind actually had the time to take in the gruesome view. But as medic you _had_ to take the time and take it all in in order to see the damage done and calculate if there was something to save. But that wasn't even the worst. No, the worst had been when she had tried to save them and the blood kept staining her hands while she had to look in their eyes and see their acceptance. And then they would begin to cry or scream or mumbling last words and she, _she_ had to stay calm and watch them slowly die. Right. In Front. Of. Her. Eyes. But the really really worst had been when the young ones had slowly slipped out of her grip.

She slammed her hands against the tiles and let out a strangled sob.

She should be happy to be alive but she couldn't. At least not at the moment. Maybe later, when she had more time to cope with all the cruelty she had seen.

Slowly she raised her hand and turned off the water and just stood there. The cool air made her shiver but she just couldn't bring herself to care. She felt so damn empty and she knew her friends wouldn't understand. Not even Sasuke. He seemed to be finally seeing the light, so how could she go and burden him with her darkness? No, she wouldn't dim his light not now, not ever. He deserved it more than anyone to be walking in the light again.

A knock on her door wrenched her out of her thoughts. Her forehead leaned against the cold tiles and her eyes merely slid to the still closed door.

"Sakura?" his voice sounded slightly concerned. But she didn't move. She couldn't. If she moved she was sure to break apart. That the darkness would rip her apart and devour her whole.

The doorknob turned slowly and sliver hair slowly came into view.

"Sakura..." his voice trailed into nothing as he took in the sight before him. There she stood, her naked body wet and glistening with water and lightly shaking with tremors. But what really made him freeze were her eyes. Her beautiful jade eyes were locked on him and he swore he could see her soul crying out for help. It was as if she was warring on the inside and slowly losing the fight as her eyes became duller the longer he stood there.

Then he snapped out of it, grabbed a big towel and swiftly wrapped her shaking body in it before he pulled her in his chest and just held her.

"Kakashi" her voice sounded strangled as if she was being choked. "It won't stop… I can still see it… all the pain… all the loss…" He tightened his hold on her and felt her breaking down in his arms. This strong woman was breaking down in his arms because she had seen too much misery. As her knees gave out on her he swept her up in his arms and carried her to her bed where he slowly lay down with her still in his arms. Her hands clutched at his shirt desperately as her sobs shook her body. Ha had known that the war would take its toll on her. After all she was one of the best medic – no scratch that – she was _the_ best medic. She had seen more destruction than anyone else. She had seen the destruction the war truly bestowed on everyone. She had seen how the war had torn the bodies apart on the inside and she had been the one to mend them back together just to be torn apart again. He couldn't even begin to understand what it must be like to understand the human body and its workings and how much damage truly was dealt to it or how much pain they must have felt. But Sakura could. And she had.

"I… can't…" she sobbed and he began combing her hair. But she suddenly pushed herself away and grabbed her hair and looked at him with a nearly crazed look in those hauntingly beautiful eyes.

"No...i-it's t-too much! C-can't they see-e? WHY!?" She yelled and watched him desperately. He just watched her, watched how her chest fell with her erratic breathing, how her muscles were tense and ready, for what he wasn't sure. And he knew.

"Because they didn't lose as much as we did" he whispered softly and watched as all the strength left her and she slumped down. Her eyes empty and so lost.

"We?" she asked brokenly and reached a shaking hand out for him. He gently took it and pulled her to him once again.

"Yes we. We lost more than most of them. We didn't just lose one ore two precious people. We lost most of them. And you lost more because you get easily attached to people in need. So every time you lost one of your patients they broke you a little bit more and took something of you with them."

She threaded her fingers with his and squeezed his hand.

"But what about Sasuke?" she whispered miserably. "He lost so much more. He lost his entire clan, then he had to kill his only living family just to learn that his whole family was bad. He has suffered so much more!"

"And look where it took him. He fell into darkness. And he stayed there because he didn't want to see the light w- you and Naruto tried to show him. But we see it and so we are trapped in a world of gray with black splotches. And we so desperately seek the white light."

"The darkness...for the others it is finally over. They found their way back into the light" she whispered and he just nodded.

"You are still in the darkness, Kakashi."

Kakashi froze as he heard her call him by his name and only his name for the first time.

"But the light shines upon you so the darkness won't touch you ever again" she continued and she sounded so sure and determined. He chuckled and buried his nose in her damp hair.

"And why is that?" he asked amused. She straightened and turned to him. Her eyes suddenly full of determination.

"Because I am this light and I won't allow the darkness to touch you again."

He stared at her. Did she even know what those words did to him? How much his soul hurt just to hear those words.

"And what about you?" he asked to distract himself from his urge to caress her cheek.

"Me?" she seemed surprised and he nodded with an amused glint in his eyes.

"I think I am still in the darkness but you are the light that lightens my way out of there. And Naruto and the others will all light my way too, until I can stand in the light again and leave the darkness behind."

Then she smiled at him and her eyes began to shine a little with her old warmth.

He swallowed and just nodded while she settled down next to him.

 _Thank you Kakashi. I really felt as though I was being swallowed. And I won't let you be swallowed again, I promise. I am going to be the light for you like you just have been for me,_ with those thoughts and his hand in hers she slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 **Soo... a little Kakasaku before we get started with all the drama. And guys thank you again for your reviwes, your favourites and follows. I was soo happy! I still can't believe that you like the stuff I am writing. But I promise I won't stop writing until it is complete. AT this note: it could take a littl while until the next chapter is to come cause college will start soon again. But I have a few chapters already planned out and even the music for it (uneblievabale I know) but I have to write so much until I can write those scenes. Oh and I have an idea about a Gaara-Sakura fic, so let me know what you think about it. But if I write it I will probably write a few chapters in advance so you don't have to wait so long. Well enough rambling from me. Till next time and stay save guys!**


	4. Chapter 3

**I AM BACK. Gosh I was so caught up in college that I didn't had time to do any writing at all. But let's safe the rambling for the bottom. Have fun with this new chapter;)**

* * *

Should I've stayed, where the signs, I ignored?

Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?

We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep

There are things that we can have, but can't keep

If they say

Who cares if one more light goes out?

In a sky of a million stars

It flickers, flickers

Who cares when someone's time runs out?

If a moment is all we are

We're quicker, quicker

Who cares if one more light goes out?

Well I do

\- Linkin Park, _One More Light_

* * *

She woke up rather early, the sun was just beginning to rise and a soft mist was covering the whole village. Kakashi was long gone, not that she had expected any differently. Still, it left her feeling cold and slightly empty.

Slowly she dragged herself towards her closet and grabbed her chunin issued black pants and sweatshirt. She brushed her hair, wrapped her legs and slipped on her sandals in a daze.

As soon as she left her apartment the cold bit her skin, but she welcomed it. Deep down she knew what she was doing to herself but she had to know. She had lost a week of mourning. Truthfully she didn't even know who they had lost at all. All she knew was that they did have lost a lot of brave and fine shinobi.

She walked over training grounds three, the trees behind her were blurred and looked rather ominous what with all that mist. But she knew her way and soon she could see the cenotaph with all the flowers in front of it.

She took a deep breath and walked the last steps until she could read the names on it.

 _Hyuuga Neji….Nara Shikaku….Yamanaka Inoichi_

Her eyes widened. How could she have missed that they had died during the war!? Tears began streaming down her face and she slumped to the ground. It was so unfair that her friends had to go through the pain of losing their parents, even if it was just one of them. She had lost both during the attack of Pain and distracted herself with staying at Tsunades side. But it did still hurt. She knew that nothing could have saved Inoichi-san or Shikaku-san. The Juubi had aimed exactly for their headquarters. It had been impossible to avoid. But Neji. _Neji_! She could have saved him! They had a mutual understanding and respect for each other. Why hadn't she been there!?

LINE

He had left as soon as she had been sound asleep. He didn't want to tempt himself. It still troubled him to see her in such pain. And he was sure that there was more to come. At least he had been able to look after her when she had been sorted into his division. But to meet Zabuza and Haku again had rattled them both. Her probably more than him.

His thoughts came to a stop as he saw her kneeling in front of the cenotaph. Her sobs were carried through the mist towards him and he wanted to reach out for her but he could feel another presence and he knew that Sakura needed him more than himself. After all, she did love him.

* * *

"Sakura" his soft voice startled her. Shocked, her teary face whipped around and met dark onyx.

"Sasuke-kun?" Her voice sounded so broken that Sasuke felt like flinching. Sakura wasn't supposed to sound like that. Silently he made the last few steps towards her and crouched down next to her. Slowly, as if he wasn't quite sure, he put his arm around her shoulders. Her hauntingly beautiful eyes stared up at him with tears in their corners. He just stared back, waiting for her to explain her sorrow. Her nose scrunched up and she let her head fall against his shoulder.

"They are gone! Ino and Shikamaru's dads, they are dead! And I didn't even know!" She wailed in his arms.

"You couldn't have saved them, Sakura. They were killed by the Juubi."

"I know" she whispered. "But I could have saved Neji."

Sasuke stiffened. Why did she care about Neji? As far as he knew she hadn't even talked with him that regularly. At least that was what Naruto had told him when he had talked about all of the Konoha twelve. And if he was honest, he never liked that Hyuuga boy that much. He was arrogant and too sure of himself.

"I heard he died protecting that useless Hyuuga girl" he pondered softly.

Sakura stiffened and slowly pulled away from him. Her jade eyes burned into his and he knew immediately that he made a mistake.

"Useless Hyuuga girl? Her name is Hinata" she murmured and stood up slowly.

"And Hinata is far, _far_ from useless." She seethed. Slowly Sasuke stood up himself and tried to calm her down by laying his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" She snapped and slapped his hand away. Shocked he watched Sakura and realized the hurt in her eyes was because of _his_ words.

"Hinata was not and will never be useless! She always fought for her love! Although he never recognized her feelings and probably never will she never gave up believing in him! She loved him so much that she didn't even care if she died or not and willingly would have given her life for him! That is not useless! And Neji..." her voice broke. "Neji gave his life so that Hinata would have a chance at living and maybe getting the love she so much wanted and deserved! Calling Hinata useless would be the same as calling Nejis sacrifice useless!"

She panted heavily and her fists were clenched rather tightly.

"Sakura-"

"You know Sasuke" she cut him off. "I could have very easily switched places with Hinata. I would have given my life for you. Would you have even cared then? Would I have been still the useless and annoying little girl in your eyes?"

Her voice had become so quiet he had to strain himself to actually hear her. She raised her eyes to his once more and he was shocked to see disgust in those green depths. But deep down underneath that disgust he saw her deep pain. Pain that he had caused.

"Sakura-"

"I can't" she rasped out. They stared at each other for a second and then she began walking away from him.

* * *

Kakashi hadn't meant to listen in on their argument. But he couldn't help to feel wary of that Uchiha brat. After all he did try to kill Naruto and Sakura multiple times and even succeeded in nearly killing her. And to say that he was angry at Sasuke for making Sakura hurt more was an understatement. It was clear that his sorrow was reserved for his Uchiha clan. But he shouldn't have talked badly about the Hyuuga girl. And calling Hinata useless had been like calling _her_ useless. On top of it his words had surely triggered her insecurity issues he had caused so many years ago.

The rational part in him knew that he shouldn't be so angry with the Uchiha and that he just wanted to be there for Sakura. But the other part, the part that had seen him trying to kill his friends so many times and that still felt guilty for teaching him that damned justu and not being able in leading him on the right path felt anger. He was angry that he had never listened, that he had used _his_ jutsu to nearly kill Naruto and Sakura. His jutsu that was meant to protect his precious people. His jutsu that had killed Rin…

He shook those dark thoughts away and watched as the Uchiha brushed his hair away angrily while walking away from the cenotaph.

Finally he could go there and talk to Obito. It was hard to see him during the war again and standing on different sides. But he had felt truly happy when Obito had finally seen the light that Naruto had shown him and fought with them.

"I know you are with Rin now. And I hope that you can finally experience true peace." He stared at Obitos name engraved on the cenotaph. But different form all the other times he didn't feel an unbearable sadness. This time he felt content. Because he had seen his friend one last time. And this time there were no grudges left.

"Oh and tell Rin I am sorry for never reciprocating her feelings. But I guess we all knew that her heart had always belonged to you." He smiled though he knew no one could see it. But it felt as if his teammates were there with him, actually listening to his words.

 _Is it wrong that my heart seems to belong to a woman who is younger than me?_

Shaking his head he turned and left training grounds three. The sun had warmed up the air and the mist had vanished. People were slowly filling the streets and going after their every day deeds. But he didn't have an eye for them. He kept looking for pastel pink hair.

And there she was. Sitting on the stone head of his old sensei, as if she knew he would be looking for her. He concentrated chakra in his feet and made the jump towards her.

She didn't seem surprised at all. He didn't like the determined look about her and the cold eyes that were regarding him.

"Ne, Kakashi… you knew that I was promoted to jonin while I was in a coma?" She began and he had a bad inkling that he knew where this was going. He just nodded and decided to lean against the stone while propping one of his legs up.

"You think I can become an ANBU? After all they have the highest death rate. But if I were to enter their ranks I could diminish their casualties _and_ protect my precious people. I know that Tsunade-shishou will start training Naruto so that he can become Hokage soon. And Sasuke is not to leave the village for three years."

He watched her closely and knew that she had more to say. Finally she stood up and turned to him. Her eyes sparkled with determination and his heart swelled for her. He quashed those feelings and soaked in her appearance.

"I know this might come rather rash but I really thought about it. What if I leave the village for a few years. As an ANBU operative I could work together with ANBU of other villages to get rid of the last nuke-nin and help them strengthen their medicinal forces. And… I could be away from all that hurt for a while" she finished in a whisper.

He knew that she was still hurt when Sasuke and Naruto had left her behind. And Sasukes words had just brought up those feelings. He knew that in reality she wasn't running away. Not really. She needed to proof to them and foremost herself that she could take care of herself and didn't need them as much as they thought she did.

"You already talked with Tsunade-sama about your plans." It wasn't a question, just a conclusion. A sad smirk was answer enough. He nodded once and glanced out at their precious village. "When are you leaving?"

He heard her sigh and to his shock felt how she put her head on his shoulder.

"After tomorrow. Funnily, when I asked Ibiki if I could join ANBU he didn't even let me take the test. He said that after this war I was more than ready to join ANBU. Tomorrow I will talk to him about my plans and get my ANBU outfit. I will drink with Tsunade, so she will be too hangover to put up with an annoyed Naruto." She paused. "You know, though I love Sasuke, I would always look out for Naruto first. It would destroy me if Sasuke would die, sure. But if something happened to Naruto... I couldn't live anymore."

"I know exactly what you're talking about" Kakashi murmured. Silently he wished to know where he stood there. He knew he was one of her precious people but he didn't know where he stood.

"I have to go, Kakashi. I need to talk with the others before I leave. At least tell them how sorry I am about their losses." She smiled up at him and gosh, how he wished she was older so he could kiss her. Shame filled him with those thoughts and he gave her his famous eye crinkle. He would tell her goodbye tomorrow night. After all she was leaving on her eighteenth birthday.

* * *

 **I have to tell you that I personally had no idea where I was going with this chapter. I had no inspiration after the cenotaph scene with Sasuke. But then somehow the characters took care of it and here it is, the third chapter. On that note I have the fourth one finished and you will get it on wednesday because this week I will have absolutely no time to write at all. Gosh, since when have I become so busy? Well, to the next point.**

 **The only reason that there is a new chapter this early ( yeah this is earyl for me. And mind you I am ill and wrote a chapter; just for her/him) is because of fmtwa. She/He send me such a cute review, it made me soo happy. SO thank you so much for it. And gosh you got me hyped. I would love, LOVE to get a review from you for each chapter. BUT I don't want to feel pressured to do it. That being said, the more reviews I get the earlier you will get a new chapter. That's just because I have to do a lot for college and tend to forget time but if I get more reviews it's like a constant notifictaion that I have to do stuff and it gives me a nice feeling.**

 **Which brings me to the next point: Dear hater, I feel really honored that you took your time and read untill chapter two to send me your hateful words. I mean, wow, how much time do you have to sit there and do stuff that you detest? If I don't like stuff I will stop reading or doing it immediatly and look for other stuff that might be more interesting for me. If you didn't catch the subtle meaning: This is a hint for you, dear hater, to stop reading my story and sending hate. Because first: there is already so much hate in the world and do you really want to contribute to it? Probably or you wouldn't have left those words. and second: I really don't like that others feel worried that I might abandon this story because of this. I know that some out there react badly to hate and I hurt for them. But I won't go away with your hate. I will just laugh at you, what I actually did. Because that was rather funny. But don't make my readers feel uncomfortable.**

 **Again thanks to fmtwa, she was really cute and I really appreciated your review probably more than you will ever know:D so enough rambling and have a good time and be safe. Till wednesday;)**


	5. Chapter 4

**So guys, here you have the next chapter:) I thought it would be better to update before I have to go to university. More babbling on the end, as always;)**

* * *

He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't. It was just impossible. But there he stood, in the middle of her apartment, in her bedroom, surrounded by her belongings. There on the bed laid the picture of team seven and on top of it was a white paper with a small note.

 _Sasuke, Naruto, I am sorry but I had to do this on my own. I will see you in a few years. Don't cause too much troubles, ne? Love Sakura_

He grabbed the stupid paper with that stupid note and vanished in a cloud of smoke.

Naruto jumped out of his chair at the look on Sasukes face.

"What happened with you?" he asked and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. His empty ramen bowl stood on the counter. Without another word he shoved the note in Narutos face and sat down himself. He counted the seconds.

"Eeeeeh!? Sakura-chan is gone!?" And there it was. Narutos yell startled quite a lot of people. Sasuke just grunted and glanced at his stupid best friend. He was shocked to see the hurt and anger in his eyes. Sure he had expected to find him surprised and a little angry but not that angry. He seemed furious. He turned on his heel and sprinted towards the Hokage tower.

"Tche" he sighed and made to follow him. On their way to the Hokage tower they met Ino. Or rather she saw him and decided to attach herself to his arm. She didn't stop talking about the huge party she was going to throw for forehead. Gosh that girl was so stupid. He couldn't understand how Sakura could stand her.

Then Naruto burst through the doors and into the Hokages office just to wake a hungover Tsunade. In the one week he had been back he had learned quickly that a hungover Tsnuade was to be treated kindly.

"Hey! Baa-chan! Where is she!" Naruto growled and slammed the note on the table. The whole room went quiet and even Ino seemed to feel the tension now. Thank Kami.

But the huge explosion they all expected from their Hokage didn't come.

"Naruto" she sighed and dragged a hand over her face "why she left is hers to tell you. But I will tell you this much." And here she glared at both of the boys from team seven. "You have no right to be angry at her for leaving you. _No right!_ You hear me?" Her voice had become deadly silent. Ino let go of Saskues arm and stepped towards the table. She took the note and read it over. Her hand clenched and her angry eyes were directed towards the black haired boy.

"After all it were you two who had left her behind first, ne?" she asked sharply. Naruto, surprisingly didn't explode in an angry cloud, no, he seemed to deflate.

"But it is her birthday and…" his eyes zeroed in on the floor. "She saved me. Without her I wouldn't be standing here. And I couldn't even thank her or apologize for abandoning her." His voice became a whisper before he turned around and made to leave.

"Where did she go?" Sasuke demanded and Naruto froze in his steps. His azure eyes slid over to Tsunade. The busty woman sighed once again.

"It is best if you wait and find out for yourself when she comes back." Tsunade snapped and they all could see that she had reached her limit.

* * *

 _4 years later_

The wind pulled on her hair as she jumped through the trees. She relished in the feeling, of being on the move. She would miss it for sure but it had been the right decision. She finally felt comfortable with herself. Never again would she deflate when being called useless. Actually she did laugh the one time a nuke-nin did call her that, right before she had slammed her kunai through his heart. As was agreed on with Tsunade-shishou she had been sent on her mission alone. She was only to be accompanied if she didn't know where the nuke-nin were to be found. To reduce this particular situation she had learned a new summoning. Especially used for sneaking and finding stuff. Right now one of her little friends was running next to her. She could imagine what Kakashi's summons would think of that. After all cats and dogs don't go well together. But they were really helpful and after all she had always loved animals.

Her slugs were great for healing, intimidating and defending. But she had needed a summon that could sense chakra and luckily for her Sai had gifted it to her as a birthday and goodbye present. With her cats she didn't need to take other shinobi with her. And she even had a cat under her summons as big as a dog that was trained to fight. If she remembered correctly it was a lynx. She was beautiful with reddish fur and black spots. Her name was Kira and she was the one currently traveling with her.

In those last four years there had been actually quite a lot of nuke-nin who did mean no harm for their villages. They had just wanted to leave and start over as civilians. She did understand them and made a deal with them. They could either die as was the fate as a nuke-nin or have their chakra paths destroyed and sealed by her. All of them which wanted to live a normal life allowed her to make their chakra paths unusable forever. They were rather thankful and proud of her for being from the same village. The nuke-nins from the other villages weren't quite as forth coming. Actually a lot of them were Madara followers and shared his opinion. She hadn't killed every nuke-nin out there. She just got rid of the ones from her own village and then traveled around, taught medical ninjutsu and fought the nuke-nin she came across. She had found her inner strength and herself in those long years. And she had been able to visit the battlefield again and cope with all the trauma she had suffered from. Of course she still felt the pain of all those losses but she didn't despair about it anymore.

She came to a stop in front of the grave Naruto had made for Jiraiya. It was a beautiful grave with the three kunais. The kunais stood for Nagato, Konan and Yahiko, she had learned. It was a beautiful gesture and so very thoughtful of Naruto.

She missed them, all of them. But at the same time she was scared of their reactions. Sasuke was sure to be pissed, that was a given. But she hoped he would understand. Naruto would be hurt but he would understand, for sure. The others, well…. She would have to find out. And Sai… poor Sai. He must have surely felt left out after Sasuke had returned. She had met him on the night she had left. He had somehow known she would leave and had waited at the gates to give her her present. When she had asked how he knew he just said that he had expected her to leave when he had seen her walking away from training grounds three that morning.

"Ne, Sakura-sama, we should get moving again" Kira purred and her sharp golden eyes glanced at her. She nodded and jumped back in the trees.

They weren't far from Konoha after all and she wanted to get a little sleep before she had to give her report to the Hokage.

She landed silently in front of the big red gate and smiled. It looked just as it always had. Like home.

She glanced at the two shinobis who hadn't noticed her yet. She let her mask down to dangle around her neck and made her way over to them.

"Kotetsu, Izumo" she greeted softly and watched as their heads snapped around and they stared at her as if they had seen a ghost.

"Sa-Sakura-chan?" They squealed. She chuckled lightly and they cleard their throats to get themselves together. "You really have become beautiful" Kotetsu smiled at her and Izumo winked. Sakura actually laughed and the men were entranced in her soft voice. She seemed so different from all those years before, so much more at peace and rather confident.

Then they seemed to notice her ANBU outfit and the rather large cat at her side. Shocked that their villages cherry blossom had been away for four years to kill people they just stared at them.

"Oh, yeah, that is my new summon, Kira. Be nice to her, she can be rather grumpy. Oh and don't tell anyone I'm back yet, I want to get some sleep before the asking starts" she groaned at that and seemed a little more like the old Sakura. They nodded and watched her strode fluidly away, her long hair swaying behind her.

"I don't know why, but I feel like there is a lot of trouble to come" Izumo murmured while Kotetsu nodded slowly.

* * *

Before she could go to her apartment she went to visit the cenotaph to pay her respects. She walked out of the trees and stopped. She hadn't expected to see anyone at this time here.

"Somehow I had a feeling that I would meet someone here tonight" his voice carried over to her. She smiled and stepped up to him.

Her turned towards her with an eye crinkle. Then he took in her appearance and felt breathless. She really had become beautiful. She had soft contours that told about her maturity. Her hair had grown out again and was even longer than ever before. It was bound in a high ponytail with two thick bangs framing her face, bound together by a jade green band that covered a hands width of her hair and bound it together. Her hitaiate was bound around her forehead instead on top of her head. The ANBU cat mask hang around her neck and she was clad completely in black. She looked stunning. But the most captivating were her eyes. They were calm and full of a knowledge very few gained through their life.

He smiled warmly at her. "So you have found what you have been looking for."

She nodded and seemed to take him in the same way he just had. Her eyes slowly raked over his body and he felt warmth spread over his cheeks. Kami was he glad for wearing that mask all the time.

"He looks rather hot, ne Sakura-sama?" a cheeky voice spoke. Startled Kakashi looked at the feline next to Sakura and just blinked. Sakura just laughed and bent a little to scratch the lynx behind her ears. "Yeah he kind of does" she agreed and send him a mischievous smile. Oh kami, she had matured a little too much.

She straightened again and sobered a little. "It's good to see you, I really missed you" she said in her strange calm voice. He just grunted and scratched his head nervously. He heard the lynx cackle quietly and shot her a warning glare.

"How did... _they_ take the news?" She asked and they both knew who she meant. He sighed and dropped his hand, than lay his head back and watched the full moon.

"Naruto was really furious and hurt, more so than Sasuke. He blamed himself and I think Sasuke does too."

"Oh, it is Sasuke again? I remember that a certain someone was so angry he couldn't even say his name" she teased and when he glanced her way he saw her smiling that mischievous smile again, that reminded him of a cat.

"Ah, so you noticed?" He asked and gave her a fake eye crinkle.

"Oh please, you tried to kill him after all!" At his shocked look she giggled lightly and shot him an unimpressed look. "Tsunade told me." He just nodded.

Sakura didn't understand why she felt so giddy talking to Kakashi and decided that sometimes retreat was the best solution.

"Well, I will go to my apartment and catch some sleep before I have to go and see the Hokage" she said lightly, stood on her toes and pressed her lips softly against his clothed cheek. Then she and her lynx disappeared in a cloud of Sakura blossoms.

Kakashi just stood there, frozen in shock.

"Happy twentysecond birthday... Sakura" he murmured.

* * *

 **Yeah I made Sakura older. I needed her to be a little older and mature a lot before we can jump into all that drama. Actually I always thought that Sakura was around seventeen before the war and after the war turned eighteen. So yup, she is 22.**

 **And oh gosh, fmtwa you are such a sweetheart! I truly had NO IDEA where I wanted to go with this story. Yeah there had been a few ideas but they were not really good. BUT thanks to you I have the perfect plot for this story! (At least I hope so). Thank you for reviewing again, I love reading your reviews. Can't wait to hear your reaction to this chapter;)**

 **On that note, I have to tell you that it will probably take a while until the next chapter will come. Probably next sunday cause I have a busy week to come and this sunday I will have to use for somehow relaxing and reading a paper for my class, oh well.**

 **BUT, you will get a sneak peak in the next chapter for my other story I am currently writing. Beware, it is a Gaara/Sakura one and I already love it. But I will tell you more about it next time, can't spoil you too much now, can I?;)**

 **So if you have more ideas for this story please feel free infroming me about them. I would love to hear your thoughts and tips on my writing.**

 **See you next time. Stay save and have wonderful days.**


	6. Chapter 5

**I am soooo sorry for updating so late! I had been so busy and to be honest I still am. That's why this chapter is so super short. But get on with reading. More babbling at the end:)**

* * *

She landed in the middle of her living room and immediately noticed another presence. Kira bristled and growled deep in her throat. Slowly Sakura slipped her hand in her weapons pouch and felt for the cold steel of one of her kunais. Out of the peripheral she saw movement and threw the kunai. She heard the clunk as metal got stuck in her wall and then she was eye to eye with the spinning sharingan.

"Sasuke?" she whispered breathless. His eyes widened for a second. Then they turned black again and he reached one hand slowly out to her.

So many emotions were swarming her and she felt tears pool in her eyes. She felt guilty and sad for leaving him and so so happy for finally being back. She didn't dare to move until she felt his cold fingers brush away her tears softly.

"Happy Birthday, Sa-ku-ra" he murmured and actually smiled; the softest smile she had ever seen. She stumbled forward and fell against his chest. His strong arms surrounded her and she buried her face in his neck.

"I missed you so much! A-and I was so scared that you might hate me for leaving you. But I really needed to do this on my own and-"

"Sakura, it's alright. I understand."

She laughed softly and nodded her head. He just tightened his hold around her and she sighed softly.

"So… this is the one you were so worried about, Sakura-sama?"

Kiras voice startled her so much, that she jumped out of Sasukes arms and turned red. Sasuke seemed totally unaffected and slid his calm eyes towards the mischievous looking lynx.

"A new summons."

"Ah."

She met the golden eyes of her lynx and somehow couldn't shake the feeling of being judged.

"You can go now Kira" she murmured softly and watched her lynx disappear in a cloud of smoke. Then she turned around to Sasuke only to find him scrutinizing her with narrowed eyes.

"What?" she asked and crossed her arms, ready to defend herself.

"You are an ANBU." His onyx eyes met her green ones and she just stared back. She didn't feel like answering as it was quite obvious that she was ANBU now what with her clothes and the tattoo on her left arm. So they just stared at each other in hopes that the other would break.

His eyes seemed to become just mere slits the longer she stayed silent.

"Just spit it out Sasuke, so I can go to bed and catch some sleep before I can go and see Naruto to make my report!" She snapped and saw him flinch slightly.

He wasn't used to this bossy Sakura who was so sure of herself.

"I can't believe that you left us to go and hunt down more people. Wasn't the war enough for you already?" He spat out and as soon as his words had left his mouth he knew he had gone too far. Just like back then, before she had left. He braced himself for her anger he was sure to get but she just closed her eyes.

"Leave" she murmured. His eyes widened. There was no screaming, no tears and no angry words. Just a cold order.

If he were a different man he would try to apologize and make amends. But the sad truth was that he was _not_ a different man. He would not apologize for his words, because he had meant them. Yes, they had been harsh and rather hurtful as he knew how much the war had hurt her. But he couldn't understand her. Couldn't understand why she had wanted to kill more people after all this pain they had been through. And apparently she wouldn't explain herself.

He left in a cloud of smoke and finally she felt like she could breath again. His words had hurt her deeply. How he could think that that was what she had been doing all the time, she couldn't understand. And it made her sad that he did think so poorly of her. Being ANBU didn't mean that you were automatically a killer. It meant you had to deal with more complex missions that weren't that easy to decide what was wrong and right. She had to get a result, sure, but there were so many ways to get to the result.

She trotted to her bedroom and loosened her garments on the way. Somehow all the happiness she had felt when seeing him here in her quarters had evaporated. She had really missed him, after all she did still love him...right? He was the man of her dreams...right?

Surprisingly enough a picture of Kakashi appeared in her mind with his silver hair and his happy eye crinkle. She groaned and slapped her forehead. Why did she think of her ex-sensei? It didn't make sense at all!

She let her shirt slide down to the ground and stared at her chest in the pale moonlight. She had small but round breasts. But that wasn't what she was looking at. Between her breasts and the half of her left breast was the skin totally scarred. Her skin wasn't red anymore but it looked severely burned. It was the scar from when Sasuke had hit her with his chidori and had pierced her heart. She put her cold hand on the burned skin. The scarred part was warmer than the rest of her skin, as if some of the heat of his chidori still resided in there. And sometimes she could feel her heart hurt and getting hot all over. Tsunade had told her that she might have to live with the repercussions. But it was a small price to pay. She had saved Naruto and ultimately had ripped Sasuke out of his darkness. She would have gladly died for those two idiots.

The scar wasn't something ugly for her. No, it was something beautiful. It was something so very meaningful cause it showed her that she could save the people she loved. That she had already succeeded in saving them once so she could do it again. It was a symbol of ultimate love. For her it was the most beautiful part on her body.

* * *

 **Again I am so sorry that this chapter is so short. But it felt right to leave it at this point. And it's better than getting none, right?^^**

 **Thank you to ! I am really glad that you like my fanfic and that my writing seems calming to you. I hope you will stay with me till it's finished:)**

 **Thank you to SakuraxKakashi! I am sooo glad you liked the way I brought Sakura back. I wasn't quite sure if it was good this way or if I should have written more about her time away.^^**

 **And thank you to . I think I got the gist of what you wanted to tell me, though I am not speaking that language. But it made me happy to get your review.**

 **Because of you I updated today. I don't know when the next chapter will come since I have a test next week and my sleep rhythm is totally gone. So it may take a while. BUT, as promised, you will get the sneak peak for the Gaara/Sakura fanfic that is to come. But I have to warn you it will be a really dark fic which will be hinted at in the sneak peak, so enjoy;)**

 _Over the years she had slowly learned that showing emotions was a sign of weakness and the colder she was, the stronger she got. Of course nobody except her parents really knew how cold and ruthless their daughter truly was, because she was supposed to make the people of Konoha believe that she was a happy emotional girl. She had instructions and was to follow them. So it didn't bother her that much that she hadn't any friends. She was friendly with them but that was it. It was of no use to her to befriend the others if she just ended up betraying them. But deep down she promised herself that if she ever gained people precious to her she would do anything, really anything to protect them._

 _And then she had graduated the academy and become Genin. Her parents didn't come, after all they had to pretend they were happy civilians and didn't care about her Shinobi life. To be honest she was glad that they hadn't come. She hated her parents but she feared them just as much._

 _And then she had met her new Genin-Team. The last Uchiha who seemed to have a serious trauma and the bubbly blonde which radiated such warmth with his bright grins._

 _The first time she nearly slipped up was when they had to talk about their dreams. Sasuke talked about killing someone and restoring his clan and she felt sorrow well up in her for the pain that was so obvious in his voice. His Chakra had flared up dangerously while he talked about killing a certain someone and she had flinched. Kakashi-senseis eye had slid to hers and a knowing glint had flashed through it. Then he went on to watch Naruto who proclaimed to become Hokage and getting everyone to accept him. And then Kakashi-senseis eye had slid to hers once again and she knew it was her turn._

 _She glanced at her new team and opened her mouth._

I want to be free. I want to finally be free of my duty and of this fear. I want to live a life without fear of being killed by own parents and find people I love and want to protect. And I want to be loved and protected. But most of all I want to be free.

 _But then she had seen the threatening glint of metal in the trees behind her new Sensei without anyone of her team noticing. So she had forced herself to smile wobbly and babble stupid shit about wanting to be with the Uchiha and love. As soon as she felt that her father had disappeared she stopped babbling such nonsense and clenched her fists angrily while she dropped her head and stared emotionless at her white knuckles._


	7. Chapter 6

**So here it is. Took long enough I know. But it is much longer than the other ones. Actually the longest out of them till now. So enjoy;)**

* * *

When she awoke it was even before the first sun rays touched the sky. Her inner clock was used to getting up this early. Back then, when she was younger she had hated it to wake up that early. Now she rather enjoyed the crisp morning air and the silence it brought with it.

Slowly she sat up and stared down at her bare body. A small smile flitted over her lips at the sight of her red scar. She closed her eyes and let the morning breeze ruffle her long hair, then she stood and closed the window.

"Ma, I really should have seen that coming. There are no clothes left that suit me anymore" she murmured to herself as her eyes were fixed on her red clothes from before.

She had loved the color red. It was strong and demanded attention, just what she had wanted to aspire to. But now she couldn't stand to wear something of the same color as all the blood that had flown through her hands. It made her sick.

Now she preferred darker colors, if she were honest she preferred black. You couldn't see blood on a black background. After all, if something was already dirty it could not get any dirtier, right?

The only dark clothes she had were her ANBU clothes, which she really could not wear walking through the village. And then there were her trousers and shirt from the war. It wasn't black but it was as dark as she could get it right now.

With a deep sigh she put on her clothes, that were a little to tight to be comfortable, then she grabbed her hitaiate and left her apartment in a cloud of cherry blossoms.

* * *

He had just arrived at his desk when he felt another presence suddenly appear in his room. Still tired he dragged his eyes slowly up those dark legs and up a dark shirt until he saw a glimpse of cherry blossom colored hair. His eyes snapped up to her green ones and a bright smile split his face.

"Sakura-chan! I didn't know you were back! You look great….more mature an' you know." He expected her to get angry at him for praising her looks with something along the line of _'I have always looked mature, shannaro!'_ But to his astonishment she settled for a soft smile and a warm knowing look.

He dropped his hand that had scratched his hair nervously.

"Ne, I guess you are surprised to see me being Hokage now, ne?" he watched her with an impish smile and saw how her jade eyes began to sparkle with something like mischief.

"I already knew that you were Hokage now, Naruto." Even her voice sounded softer. He could see all the changes in her and it saddened him that he hadn't been there with her to see her grow and become this confident woman, who was currently standing in front of him.

"Who told you?" he pouted.

"No one told me."

"Eeh? Then how did you know, dattebayo!?"

A melodic chuckle erupted from her and he watched her with big eyes. This was not the Sakura he knew. No this was a Sakura who had seen more than he could understand and had done more than he could even imagine. This was a Sakura who had found her strength and freedom without relying on him.

"I can count, you know."

"Huh?"

She rolled her eyes and put a hand on one hip.

"Ma, Naruto! I saw that there was another face carved in the hill."

"But it was dark when you came back so how could you have known it was me, ne!?"

"Because...I always knew that you would become Hokage, Naruto."

He didn't know what to say. So he just stared at her happy face and relaxed slowly as he discovered traces of his old Sakura.

She was finishing her report of her mission of those four years when he felt another presence slowly making its way towards the Hokage tower. A small smile settled on his face and he leaned back in his chair.

"So...you are ANBU now, I am Hokage and Sasuke is still only a jounin. I guess he will be really pissed that he is lower in rank than us, ne?"

To his surprise her eyes hardened and her lips were pressed tightly together.

"Hokage-sama" she began and he straightened immediately, "do not allow Sasuke to enter ANBU. I am sure that he will ask you to join the ranks, but he has seen enough darkness in his life. Make him an instructor and give him a genin team. Or make him your guard. But don't let him fall back into darkness." Her eyes were pinning him to his seat, hard and unrelenting. "You owe me at least that much" she finished in a whisper.

She watched as Naruto swallowed and closed his eyes in consideration. He had really matured. She was so proud of him sitting in that seat and being a fine man now. And she knew that he would relent to her request. After all they had been through as team seven he would understand her. She was sure of it.

"I take it you two already met then." He didn't ask he just said it as if he was stating his eye color. She nodded once.

"He missed you, you know? I know he is not the best with expressing his feelings or thoughts even, but he really truly missed you."

She knew that. She had missed him too. But that did not give him the right to belittle her reasons for going on that mission or being an ANBU.

"Naruto-" the door was thrown open and hit the wall.

Her head snapped to Sasuke who stood there, frozen in the door. His face was a mask but she could easily see his fury in every fiber of his body.

"Ah. Finished your report?" He asked and walked past her and up to the desk. Then he slammed his hands down on it.

"I want to join ANBU, Naruto."

It was more a demand than a request.

She could feel her own anger at his actions well up inside of her. But she knew it was not her place to speak up. Naruto was Hokage now, so he had to handle this situation.

"Well, I will take my leave then, Hokage-sama. Maybe we can talk a little more later over ramen, ne?"

She didn't wait for his answer and vanished in cloud of pink cherry blossoms.

* * *

She had her hands stuffed in her pockets and was trying to walk through the now bustling streets of Konoha. Last night she hadn't been able to properly talk to the others. She didn't even realized when she was standing in front of the cenotaph.

Her eyes drifted over all those names carved in it and she felt sorrow well up in her. So, the pain was still there but it didn't swallow her whole anymore. She could handle it.

"Hey, Neji. It's been a while. I came back recently, so it's not like I am too late, ne?" Tears gathered in her eyes and she couldn't see properly anymore. She remembered a time when they had been setting a time for training and when she had been ten minutes late, Neji had lectured her. Afterwards she had noticed his small smile.

"I have finally found myself. I took your advice by heart and left the village for a little while. Though...it would have been more fun if you could have been there too. I really enjoyed our little talks and sparring sessions." A sob was breaking through and she clapped her hand in front of her mouth. He had told her of his plans to change the Hyuuga clan and how proud he was of Hinata. She knew he had been content with giving his life for her, but still. She felt like she should have been able to save him.

"I am so sorry that I was not there. I know now that it was not my fault and that nothing will change if I keep feeling sorry. But I am, Neji. I had promised to support you on your way and I cannot help but feel like I have let you down!" She sank to her knees and laid her hand on the cold stone where his name was written. "I am not desperate anymore or pulled down by my grieve. But… I still hurt from the lost possibilities!"

* * *

 _She was late and she knew he would lecture her for it. Damn it! She pushed herself to run even faster though her muscles burned and her lungs felt like bursting._

 _She burst through the trees and skidded to a halt in front of him. Doubled over and gasping for air she hesitantly lifted her head and met his silver eyes. His arms were crossed; that was never a good sign._

" _You're late" he said in his calm voice._

" _I know...and...I am sorry...but-"_

" _Sakura, the time we had agreed on was so that you_ would _arrive punctual."_

 _She swallowed and straightened up._

" _I know and I am truly sorry. But there had been a new scroll on an illness I didn't know so..." she trailed of and send him a sheepish smile. He just closed his eyes and sighed._

" _Let's start already."_

 _So they had started their sparring. He was to help her with getting faster in evading attacks and she was to help him with getting better in countering strong physical attacks._

 _They trained until the sky was turning orange and the summer air had cooled down a little. Then they both collapsed and leaned against a tree._

" _You were extra hard as a punishment for being late, right?" she asked breathless and let her head roll in his direction just to meet his eyes. They seemed to glow and burn themselves into her own ones. A small smile spread over his lips and she felt her face getting hot._

" _I was being harder because I believed you could take it." His voice washed over her whole being and calmed her beating heart. That was why she treasured him. He took her serious and fought her straight on._

" _You know...I won't let you down and leave you."_

" _Eh?" He reached out and slowly brushed her sweaty hair out of her eyes._

" _I will wait for you" he whispered._

* * *

She stood there, lost in her memories and the useless pondering of 'what if's'. Though she knew that her heart belonged to Sasuke she had wished so many times for it to belong to Neji. He had deserved her love and yet she had rejected him time and time again.

"I know you didn't like him. And sometimes I don't like him either. But I can't help but to love him. And I am so sorry for loving him. Maybe...next time" she whispered.

She knew she could have fallen in love with Neji very easily. The thing was: she hadn't want to. She had believed that if Sasuke came back she would get her happy end. But then the war had began and somehow her naive self had been confronted with the cruelty of the world and along the way she had lost her confidante. She had lost a possibility of happiness.

"This is rather selfish, don't you think?"

She whirled around only to be met with Sais fake smile. He immediately dropped the act and regarded her with his dark eyes. She let her gaze drop to the ground.

"Ah, I know. And it's probably not fair of me to cry for him when he was content with dying. After all I am just crying for my lost chances, ne?" She lifted her head and smiled wobbly at him. He just stared at her and then put down the flowers he had held in his hands.

"I have read somewhere, that when we mourn someone we don't really mourn for them. We mourn for ourselves because we can't accept that that person is now out of our reach. So the concept of mourning itself seems rather selfish to me."

She stared at him and his open expression. He was right, she realized. Mourning in itself was selfish.

"Gomen, Neji. I guess you must be tired of me already. You already moved on and here I am letting you wait for me to realize what is right in front of me."

The wind picked up and whirled through her hair and just for a second she imagined that fingers were brushing her cheek. She cracked a smile and wiped her tear strains away.

"You knew I could handle this and I will not prove you wrong, I promise. So you don't have to wait for me any longer."

* * *

She had stood a little longer in front of the cenotaph. She didn't knew why she was staying there, but she felt like something or someone should appear. The sun rose higher and as her stomach grumbled loudly she hesitantly relented and made her way back through the trees into the village. She knew where she was going to eat and had the feeling that a certain blonde would be waiting there for her already. And truth be told, Naruto was already sitting in one of the chairs with a grumpy looking Sasuke next to him.

She really didn't feel like talking to Sasuke after what he had said the night before, but she couldn't tell him to leave either. Sighing to herself she slipped into the chair next to Narutos other side.

"There you are Sakura-chan! So, tell me, got any interesting things on your time away?" he asked and wiggled suggestively with his eyebrows.

"Naruto!" she barked and raised her balled fist threateningly, "who do you think I am!?"

"Ma, ma Sakura-chan, I just made fun!"

Then his attention was snagged away from Ichiraku and the promise of a hot bowl of ramen.

"You are not wearing your usual clothes."

She froze. She really hadn't expected him to talk to her first. Slowly she leaned back and turned towards him.

"No" she began slowly, "I don't feel like wearing them. They don't suit me anymore."

"Eeh? But red was your favorite color, what happened, Sakura-chan? Too grown up for colors now?" Naruto teased. She gave him a small smile and was about to answer as _he_ had to speak up again.

"I suppose it is not the right tone. After all, blood seems to be a little darker."

Silence.

She clenched her teeth and tried to stop herself from punching him in the face. Instead she just send him a hateful glance. But he didn't even look her way.

"Gomen, Naruto but I suddenly lost my appetite. Maybe next time we could meet without him."

She stood and was ready to leave but stopped and talked over her shoulder.

"When I sacrificed myself for you I didn't think that it would lead to you torturing me even more."

With that she vanished while Naruto stared shocked at the few cherry blossoms that slowly rained down.

* * *

She was so angry. And the only way to get rid of all that anger was to get it out of her system. So she headed for the training grounds and was glad to see Kakashi already training there. He turned around and wiped the sweat away with his arm.

Without uttering a word she raised her fist and went at him. She watched as his eye widened for a moment before he opened the other one and blocked her punch. He grunted and narrowed his eyes.

Then he pulled on her fist and made her stumble forward. She growled and twisted around, aiming her raised leg at him next. He vanished in a cloud of smoke.

They went at each other for quite a while until Kakashi had enough and pinned her to the ground.

Sakura glared up into his mismatched eyes and tried to get out of his hold. But the cold steel of a kunai made her stop.

Panting heavily through his mask he asked "so, what got you so angry that you decided I would make a nice punching bag?"

She pressed her lips more firmly together and slid her angry gaze to the side. She heard him sigh and the kunai disappeared.

"Sakura, I can't help you when you're not talking to me" he murmured sternly. His breath brushed her cheek and her eyes widened. Her anger momentarily forgotten she turned her head and brushed her nose with his covered one. They stared at each other. Only now realizing how close they really were. Heat surged through them and neither wanted to break the moment.

She did not understand why his weight on her felt so good. He wasn't exactly light what with all his muscles. And his eyes; gosh _his eyes._ She had never noticed how beautiful his true eyecolor was. It was a dark gray like the fog over a lake at dusk. And just like the fog you could get lost in them. But what was even more entrancing was the expression in his eyes. They seemed to glow and slowly burn themselves into her green ones. She felt like she should understand what they told her. Suddenly his eyes seemed to darken and she felt him letting even more weight lay on her. The moment shattered like glass and she turned bright red.

"Kakashi! Just get off already!" She snapped and threw her head to her side. Slowly he rolled over and sat up. He cleared his throat awkwardly as she sat up next to him and pulled his hiatiate over his sharingan.

"So, what got you so furious?"

She stared at him for a while not sure if she should talk about Sasuke with him.

His gray eye slid to hers and something in it just coaxed the words free.

"It's Sasuke" she blurted out and avoided his gaze all together. She missed how his eye darkened and a nearly murderous look entered it before he got his expressions under control and put on his neutral mask.

Sakura slid her gaze back to him and lifted one corner of her lips in a poor attempt at a smile.

"He was at my apartment last night when I came back." Kakashi froze and tried hard not to clench his hands and failed spectacularly.

"At first it was a rather nice surprise but then it went all wrong when he saw that I was an ANBU. And..." she sighed and looked down at her hand in her lap.

Slowly Kakashi leaned over and reached for one of her hands. Her eyes snapped to his and he gave her his calming eye crinkle.

"He accused me of not having enough of spilling blood and killing people. As if the war wasn't enough for me" she whispered and turned her hand in his. Her fingers tightened around his and he understood. Sasukes words had brought back all those images and feelings from the war. She had been healing for four years on her own. But she wasn't healed at all. And she never would be. You could not recover fully from a war. Her green eyes met his and he was shocked to see the tears glistening in them.

"How could he say something like that?" Her voice breaking.

He felt his own heart clench painfully and without thinking he pulled at her hand and positioned her in his lap, then he wrapped his arms securely around her.

And in the safety of his arms she broke down. She was hurt by his words, sure. But it broke her that he really thought that she, _she_ , had liked the killing. Did he really think her so shallow that she would leave for four freaking years just to kill more people?

Kakashi didn't say anything. He just held her tight and softly put his chin on top of her head.

He let her cry. He knew she needed it. He didn't talk because he knew that was not what she needed right now. So he let her cry and vent her frustration out while he thought about the best way to teach that damned Uchiha brat a lesson. While Sakura had been away they had come to a sort of understanding that each of them wanted the best for her and that they loved her. But it seemed Sasuke wanted what _he_ thought was best for her.

Yes, that kid went through a trauma too and yes, it was really tragic and horrible. But that did not mean that others didn't experience any trauma either.

He looked down and realized with a jolt that Sakura had fallen asleep in his arms. Warmth filled him and his eyes softened. This was the woman he had sworn to fight for. And kami was she worth it!

Gingerly he put his arms around her shoulders and under her knees and as slow as possible he stood up. She stirred a little just to press her face against his chest. He transported them into her apartment. He knew very well where it was, after all he had been the one to look after it in her four years leave.

Cautiously he walked into her bedroom. The doors of her closet were still open and in front of it lay all her red clothes from before. It seemed like his Sakura had finally lost her interest in that flashy color. He lifted his gaze and noticed that only left her with her ANBU clothes, the ones she was currently wearing and the ones meant for funerals. He sighed quietly and put her down under her covers. Then he just stood there and watched her sleeping face. She was beautiful even with the tear strains on her face. Anger flooded him and in her room which shone orange with the setting sun his eye seemed to glow like a demons' one.

It was time to find a certain Uchiha.

* * *

 **Sooo, I know you had to wait quite some time. But I somehow got lost on the way of life *shrugs*.**

 **A huge thank you to CantFigureOutAUsername94 and to fmtwa! Your reviews really made me happy.**

 **Especially yours fmtwa! xD I LOVE your reviews they make me so happy! And that is why this chapter is dedicated to you! And you got me thinking...be prepared for a Kakashi pov chapter. And thank you so much for telling me your thoughts on my preview for my other story! It will take a little longer until I will pot it here but maybe you can give it a try. But first I want to finish this one here. And the test was ok. This week I have another one. Welp, that's life.**

 **Looking forward to hear from you again!**

 **So see you soon and be safe!**


	8. Chapter 7

**crawls out of the darkness with a new chapter in hand: _I'm still alive..._**

* * *

It was in the middle of the night as a shadow rushed over the roofs of the sleeping village. The shadow had a goal and one goal only. Moonlight made his silver hair glow in an eerily way. Then he landed in front of a nondescript door. He took a deep breath and tried to control his rage. Then he raised his gloved hand and knocked short but firm on the wood. And then he waited. He listened as faint steps were nearing the door. As the door slowly creaked open he closed his eyes and forced his body to stay calm.

"Kakashi..." his voice slightly slurred from sleep.

His eyes snapped open and before Sasuke could react, his fist was flying towards his face and connected with a satisfying crunch. Sasuke tumbled to the floor and pressed his hand to his bleeding nose. Angry sharingan eyes glared up at him but he didn't give two shits.

"Ah...it seems my hand slipped" he said and his eyes crinkled in his famous smile. Then he got serious.

"You should stop hurting her. You did that already enough. She didn't judge you when you went with Orochimaru. So don't judge her when you don't know her story."

With that he left in a cloud of smoke. He hadn't planned on hitting Sasuke, really. He had actually tried to _refrain_ from hitting him in his stupid face. But when he had opened his eyes and looked at his arrogant face he saw Sakura again and all the pain in her beautiful jade eyes and his body had just reacted. Well, now that he did hit him he could at least admit to himself that it had felt damn good.

Of course he knew that he helped Sasuke with what he had said. But he did it for Sakura, to make her happy. Besides, he knew that Sakura felt attracted to him. Her behavior when she came back and met him at the cenotaph was more than enough. And he was pleased that she finally noticed him as a man. So now he had a chance to win her heart. After all, he was the legendary copy cat ninja who mastered over a thousand jutsus. Even if he had lost his sharingan, he still had his body and those justus stored up in his brain.

* * *

When she opened her eyes she was met with the warm light of the morning sun. A small smile graced her lips and she stretched her body thoroughly. Mid-stretch she froze. She didn't remember going to bed! Shit! She had fallen asleep while crying in Kakashis arms! She blushed heavily and felt utterly embarrassed. She hadn't planned on crying in front of Kakashi, it just so happened that she felt safe around him. And after everything that happened she trusted him indefinitely. She buried her face in her pillow and groaned. Well done Sakura, way to go and show how mature you've become.

With a last sigh she slipped out of bed and went into her bathroom to take a long and hot shower. After finishing her shower she wrapped her body in a towel and strolled back into her room only to groan again. She had to go shopping with Ino, she had no clothes that she could wear. Determined she slipped on her ANBU clothes without the telling armor and tied her hair in a high ponytail and wrapped her bangs with the green cord each, then she grasped her hitai-ate and tied it like she used to on top of her hair. Satisfied she strolled out of her apartment and entered the busy streets of Konoha.

People seemed to be shocked when they saw her until they recognized her pink hair and then greeted her with happy smiles. She was glad that some things hadn't changed. After the war she was seen with more awe in the eyes of the Konoha people, even in the eyes of most of the shinobi. She was proud to finally be recognized as someone strong that could walk next to her teammates.

Her musings came to a stop when she reached the yamanaka flowershop. A small smile brightened her features and with anticipation running through her veins she walked through the glass doors and was met with a loud squeal and then she was crushed in a bone breaking hug.

"Forehead! You're back! And damn you look good, but don't you think that your clothing is a little too obvious a give away?"

She rolled her eyes and returned the hug. "Nice to see you too, Pig. And actually that's why I came here. I thought maybe you wanted to go shopping." As soon as those words left her mouth Ino bounced back and looked at her with sparkling eyes. Then she got rid of her apron and threw it over her shoulder while she dragged Sakura with her out of the shop.

"Mom! I'm going out with Sakura! I will take the afternoon shift!" And with that the two young women entered the busy strong of people in search of a store with nice shinobi gear.

"Ahh! Look there are nice things and they are even in red!" Ino gushed. Sakura went stiff.

"Nothing red." She snapped. Inos aqua eyes locked with hers and she saw the confusion in them.

"I don't want to wear anything red anymore. It reminds me too much of blood and..." she didn't have to say more, Ino understood.

In the end they settled on long tight black spandex with black sandals. With it they agreed a mesh shirt would be nice and on top a beautiful black haori with an emerald colored tie. Sakura bought several versions of this set and both of them left the shop happily.

"So… tell me, how have you been those four years."

"I am not going to lie, it was hard. Especially in the beginning. The other nations were beautiful and the peace is really nice and all. But… there were dark times and I questioned myself. A lot." Her eyes grew somber and Ino watched her friend worriedly. She had noticed the changes in her best friend. She seemed calmer and more confident, but at the same time she seemed more distant and a little difficult to reach.

"You know…it's strange. All the time I've been away I did miss you but I never felt that free before. And I thought I had done the right thing, at least until Sasuke..."

Ino perked up and glanced curiously at Sakura. "Why, what did he do?"

"He was angry and couldn't understand why I had to do this and said some mean things, but I am sure he didn't really meant what he said."

To Sakuras surprise Ino seemed to get really angry at the mention of the Uchiha.

"Of course he turned angry! Because for once you did something for yourself and not for this self righteous prick!"

Sakura stared at Ino in disbelief. "Wow, what happened to you? I thought you were head and tails for him" she teased gently.

Ino just huffed and crossed her arms in front of her breasts.

"That was ages ago. And no, I can't understand how I ever imagined that he would be great to be with. We all thought that he would change now that he is back. But he is as arrogant as ever. Only Naruto seems to get along with him. Not even Kakashi likes him anymore and he was his favorite after all, so yeah."

Sakura could do nothing but stare at the blonde. She hadn't thought that Sasuke would stay an ass. To be honest she had hoped that he would turn back into the nice boy he once had been.

"Sakura."

"Talk of the devil" Ino scuffed, "all right Sakura, I have to go. Let's meet up for lunch some time soon!" With that the blonde disappeared in the crowd around them. Slowly, she turned around, her expression guarded until she caught sight of Sasukes face.

"What happened to you!?" She gasped and hurried to his side. His nose was swollen and on his left cheek was a dark blue bruise and even his lip was split open.

"That's none of your business. Can you heal it" he demanded more than asked. She frowned in disapproval and stared him down. But he did not butch.

"Fine, I will heal you, but only if you carry my bags back to my apartment." She smirked at him because she knew he had no other choice. As if he would trust another medic with his face now that she was back. And he seemed to know that as well. His lips turned down in disapproval but he remained quiet and instead grabbed her bags from her hands and headed towards her apartment.

"Why didn't you come to me right after it happened?" she chastised and shot an annoyed look his way.

"Because I didn't want to disturb you."

"Why would you have disturbed me?" She fished for more information and they both knew it. He said nothing and Sakura knew that she wouldn't get more out of him. She sighed and skipped up the stairs to her door and after turning the key pushed it open so Sasuke could enter. He let the bags drop right next to his shoes.

"You couldn't have carried them to my couch, really!" she grumbled and snatched them up again. She shot him a scalding glance as she went to her bedroom while he settled comfortably into her couch cushions.

When she came back she just stood there and examined him for a while. He was tense, more so than normal. His nose was crooked and she knew she had to set it right and that it would hurt. She could actually lessen the pain but that would depend on how he was going to behave.

"Are you going to heal me now or what" he snapped impatiently. Her eyes narrowed as she just crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"You really think that I will just forget what a fucking prick you were to me since I cam back and heal your stupid nose? Hell no!" She hissed and watched as he recoiled and stared at her in shock. Enjoying his stupidity she stalked towards him like a predator would towards its prey.

"Make no mistake, Sasuke. I may love you, but I am not that lovesick girl I once was. You think you are the only one who went through pain? Well, newsflash, the war broke us all in some way, we feel pain. So if you want your nose healed fast and good you have a lot of apologizing to do, so I suggest you get on with that."

When she was done, she stood right in front of him, staring him down.

He was shocked, to say the least. This was the Sakura every one spoke of and he had never been privy to see. She was strong and amazing. He knew he had to apologize, even before she had started scolding him. But now it felt as if he had no other choice. He knew he couldn't go to the hospital, they would ask questions he wasn't ready to answer. After all, he had deserved what Kakashi had delivered him.

Sighing he let his head fall and gathered all the courage he got and reached for one of her hands.

"Sakura..." he started and coughed, "I know that how I have been treating you was wrong and I am truly sorry. It's just..."

"Just what?" Her voice was soft.

"I don't understand you. Why you would have wanted to do something like that."

He lifted his head and met her sad emerald eyes. She let go of his hand and cupped his cheek gently.

"You stupid Uchiha. And you couldn't have asked me that instead of treating my like shit?" She whispered.

He closed his eyes remorsefully. Then he felt her cooling chakra invade his system and the pulsing in his nose slowly subsided until the pain was gone at last. When he opened his eyes again he could still see the sadness in their green depth.

Gently he tugged her forwards and just like her, cupped her cheek. He observed as the sadness was overshadowed with apprehension.

"I am truly sorry" he breathed before he pressed his lips softly against hers.

She was happy that he finally recognized her and even kissed her. Finally everything seemed to fall into place. But somehow the place didn't feel right anymore.

* * *

 **Yes I have not abandoned this story. I never would. And I am soooo sorry for not updating anything for this long. My depression had been acting up again and there were days where I couldn't even leave my bed and yeah, it's been hard for a lot of months and then somehow I came up with the ultimate 'stress-plan'. Yep, it is exactly what it sounds like. As university started again I made a plan aka my courses are layed in a way that I barely have time and the free time I have is used learning and then I started working parttime which means even lesser time and well, what should I say. My stress-plan is working pretty good, maybe too good.**

 **But today I had time and I was writing on another story that I will start posting here once I finished this one. At this note, I changed a few things and plan to keep them this way. I will go back and change the other chapters so it will fit. Nothing major really just small deatils. Also, this won't go on for much longer, maybe to 20 chapters, I haven't decided yet. It's just that I don't really feel this story anymore. But I will finish it.**

 **So, if you are still with me, some reviews would be really nice to keep me going, but no pressure. Also, I have actually started three other stories parallel which will come here shortly, everything darker than the stuff before.**

 **So, I hope you all are doing fine. The next chapter will come within the year, that much I can promise. *ducks all the stuff thrown my way***

 **Raven**


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